How to use chopsticks

Using chopsticks properly and competently is important when dining with Asian people you care about. 

Just ask. If you are not confident enough to use chopsticks, you should ask your server to bring you a fork or other utensils when you order.  This is not a big deal; there no need to apologize or explain yourself to the server or your companions if they do not ask. 

Your server might presume that you need a fork and just give you one; remember to thank them, they are trying to help. It's not a value judgement. If you don't need the fork, just leave it there on the table.  

Grip. Here is a good video of how to hold and operate chopsticks properly. Here is another. And here is another.  

Here's another version, an alternate version, of how to hold chopsticks. It's less versatile and less powerful, and in some places it's considered inelegant.  However, it is widely used.  

Etiquette. Here are some important do's and don'ts for using chopsticks.  

• Leave your chopsticks alone until it's time to use them with food.  Don't drum with them, or make walrus tusks. Don't use them to tie up your hair.  You wouldn't do any of those things with a knife and fork. 
• When you put them down, keep them matched together. If they're not in your hand, they should be together, matched and parallel, never crossed.  
• Don't stand them up in your food; that's super bad luck.

Posture. If you're holding your chopsticks correctly, your wrist should be straight and strong. You should be able to bend your arm at the elbow to bring your chopsticks to your face, no need to twist your wrist.  

Other utensils. There are two occasions when you are expected to not use chopsticks:  

• when you are eating rice off a flat plate (i.e., curry). You are never expected to eat rice off a flat plate with chopsticks, you will always be served a spoon. Rice is usually eaten from a small bowl which you can lift with your free hand. 
• when you are eating food that's not considered Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, or Korean.  Thai food is eating with fork and spoon unless it's Thai food of Chinese origin; i.e., noodles.  Filipino and Indonesian foods are never eaten with chopsticks.